Meditation in Motion

Ever since I started doing pilates a few years ago, I've been telling myself I should try yoga, because finding that centered calm that's supposed to come with it would probably be really good for me. (I've only tried meditation once, and given that I was 16 at the time and at the height of teenage angst, you probably don't need me to tell you that it didn't go very well.) But when I even think about actually trying to meditate, or holding a yoga pose for an extended period of time, I get antsy, and start to think about all of the productive things I could do instead, which makes relaxation all but impossible.

Exercise has been my way of clearing my mind since my freshman year of college. It warms my muscles, and post-workout stretching gets out the kinks. It gives me a chance to let my mind wander while still doing something I think of as productive, and I almost always end a workout feeling energized, relaxed and happy. When running, my "zone" is usually when I stop thinking about running and just do it, my body involved in the physical aspects of the exercise and my brain off on some other tangent. But in the last seven or eight months, that's started to change.

I was running one morning last summer - I think it was a 16 or 18-miler - and about halfway through, my vision changed. I was focused on the road, but it was slightly blurred around the edges, and it felt as though my visual as well as my mental focus was suddenly much more internal than external. My initial reaction was, "Okay, this is weird..." but I gradually realized that it felt good. I was more tuned in to my body than usual, and felt no compulsion to think about anything - I was running, and focusing on the feeling of each stride was enough.

I've started clicking into this zone more and more often since then, and have come to really enjoy feeling that sudden shift in my vision. It's accompanied by a mentality of "Enough messing around, let's get down to work and run, kid!" My stride lengthens, my muscles seem to stretch further and I'm flooded with a feeling of heady strength that has me bearing down and picking up speed without even thinking about it. The giddy glee of a runner's high bounces around in my blood, but it's coated with a layer of calm that tamps it down and directs all of my energy into that steady focus that pushes me further, faster.

I call it my "runner's zen," since it seems to be just that - a sort of active calm, almost a meditative state, from what little I know of them, but one that directs relaxation into power of movement. It's not something I can trigger at will yet, but I'm able to hold onto it a little longer each time it happens - yesterday, it lasted for the final two miles of my 8-miler, and felt absolutely amazing. Until then I'd just been jogging along - feeling good, but taking my time - when all of a sudden, almost exactly as I hit mile six, my visual and mental focus turned inward, my stride stretched out and my pace picked up.

It's a great feeling, and is as close as I've ever felt to flying. That centered focus is an intense and powerful tool, and one I hope I can learn to use and control as I continue my training. But for the moment, I'm happy just to revel in my runner's zen every time I manage to slip into it - I may not be much for sitting still long enough to meditate, but if I can meditate on the go, this seems like a great way to do it!