Fairy tale princesses a bad influence? No way!

Predictably, Disney's latest fairy tale film, The Princess and the Frog, is causing something of a ruckus, this time over the fact that Princess Tiana is African-American (and her prince lighter-skinned, although apparently his exact racial heritage is ambiguous). But Monique Fields, over at the Root, is more inclined to protest the latest Disney character's job description than her skin tone.

On the racial angle, I'm inclined to say "finally" and move on. (Disney is, after all, 45 years behind the Civil Rights Act on this one. And any institution trailing that far behind the federal government, itself notoriously slow, is at least slightly ridiculous.) But protesting the fact that Tiana is a princess because princesses don't make any money, have unrealistic expectations of their future happiness and wear things that sparkle? Hm.

I grew up on fairy tales, and even with as far up in the clouds as my head usually was (and sometimes still is), I never expected to literally grow up to be a princess - in fact, I don't think I ever considered the possibility that it was a real "job." In most democratic countries, I'm pretty sure the socio-political reality is evident enough to make the point in the collective kid consciousness that royalty is something that doesn't exist in their world, even if they remain enchanted with the idea.

What I loved so much about Aurora, Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas and Mulan (if we're talking strictly Disney, here) was their attitude - and their ability to dream. In my mind, what modern fairy tales do is encourage kids to dream big and never stop, because who knows what might happen? (Need an example? Go listen to "Just Around the River Bend.") And I can't think of a better ideal to impress upon kids at a young age.

Even way back when fairy tales first started being passed down (whenever that was, given that most of them began as oral traditions and weren't written down until several centuries ago), they weren't intended to make kids aspire to be royalty - they were intended to instruct kids on how to successfully make it to adulthood (common sense lessons like "don't talk to strangers who might try to eat you and your grandmother later" included).

I did an independent study course and its 20-page paper on 17th-century fairy tale/folk literature, so I won't get too far into this, but the bottom line is basically: the shiny, sparkly, I'm-a-princess-because-I-want-to-be-spoiled mentality is a late-20th-century perversion of the fairy tale. Largely created and supported by parents. Yeah, if you buy your kid everything she (or he) asks for, and tell her she's special/a princess in a way that implies better than everyone else (or, newsflash, parents: if you act like you're better than everyone else), she's going to be obnoxious and very difficult to handle, regardless of how many Disney princesses she does or doesn't watch traipse across the big screen, or how many pieces of clothing she owns proclaiming her a "Princess."

If, however, your child's love of fairy tales - from translated Perrault to Disney and all the Brothers Grimm in between - stems from the stories themselves and the flights of fancy they inspire, watching tiara-wearing cartoon princesses is not going to make her turn to "superficialities like glitter and makeup...[to] compensate for any deeper flaws some women try to hide" later in life. Instead, it will probably help develop her imagination and her sense of self. One of the things all fairy tales have in common is that the "princess" must make a journey, often physically as well as emotionally, during which her eyes are opened to the world around her and the character traits necessary to help her navigate it. No one wants to grow up to be the spoiled, self-absorbed, utterly charmless stepsister.

And fairy tale princesses are not pushovers - these women know who they are and they rock their individuality! Cinderella probably could've gone all Type A and gotten her stepmother to pick on one of her own daughters instead with a little manipulation, but she stayed true to herself and stuck it out (and was rewarded - hello, fairy tale lesson #1). Belle was mocked by the whole town for her bookworm habits, but she didn't care - and she was the only one brave enough to save her father from the Beast...and then to look past his physical appearance to his personality (and was rewarded - are we noticing a trend?).

Isn't that exactly the sort of thing we want every generation to learn? To be themselves, not to give in to peer pressure and to always do what they know is right? I certainly hope so. (Oh, and Ms. Fields? Your 4-year-old doesn't want to be an entrepreneur because she doesn't know what one is yet. The same probably goes for the lawyer.)

One thing's for sure: I will absolutely read my kids fairy tales and if they enjoy them, I'll happily take them to Disney movies - I'll probably even cry at the sad parts. And rather than relying on multimedia and the fashion industry to form my kids' character, I'll talk to them about what's important, correct them if they start to think they're the center of everyone's universe and not just mine, and encourage them to let their imaginations run wild when it comes to their dreams.