Black Friday: steal or scam?

Since Monday, I've received 60 emails (yes, I really counted!) about sales, deals and coupons for this weekend - many of them from the same merchants two or three days in a row.

Maybe it has something to do with being on a budget imposed by a non-profit salary, but Black Friday drives me crazy. The idea that we're supposed to rush out at ridiculously early hours the day after a national holiday and spend the day buying everything in sight, spending large amounts of money because everything is on sale just strikes me as slightly ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, I like a bargain as much as anyone - I'm fiercely determined to find the best possible prices for plane tickets, and spent two months last winter looking for the perfect coat at the perfect price. I just don't like the idea that retailers will slash their prices (not to the extent that they're not still making a profit, of course) for one day in hopes of coaxing people to spend more than they can afford simply because things are on sale - then go back to charging full price the following day after having made a killing. It seems to me that's taking capitalism a bit far, and not particularly fair to the consumer.

So I didn't go shopping yesterday or today, and have spent some time wishing I were more skilled at knitting or owned a sewing machine.

What are your thoughts on Black Friday? Is it a steal, or a scam?

Giving thanks

After spending the first half of the week being blasted in the blogosphere on a professional level, I was more than ready to give thanks for a long weekend!

I think of Thanksgiving as the ultimate celebration of the idea that "it's the little things." We give thanks for friends and family whose support we may forget to acknowledge the rest of the year. We take pleasure in spending time together: tearing bread for stuffing while Mom peels potatoes, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, pulling out the china and good silver, reading a story or playing a game with Dad. We take the time to reflect, which can be difficult to find time to do. And hopefully, that reflection shows us just how much we have that we're thankful for.

Above all else, I'm thankful for my family and friends. I know it's cliché, and that I often lose sight of the importance of those relationships in the everyday rush, but there's nothing that matters more in my life than the people I love. Here are just a few of the many moments and memories with them I'm thankful for:

1. A slobbery kiss from a big, sweet oaf of a Chocolate Lab.
2. Saturday in Eugene, OR - Saturday Market, a hodge-podge of treasures in an old barn, trying on bridesmaid's dresses - with my best friend and our high school French teacher, who continues to be a source of inspiration and support for us both.
3. Running into friends on the Metro - at the end of the summer, on Election Day, after work - and taking a few minutes to put away the iPods and catch up.
4. Pinkberry and a random drive through the South Bay on a weekend night in June.
5. A picnic and a game of monkey-in-the-middle with my parents, my brother, my sister(-in-law, technically, but close enough!) and my niece.
6. Making a necklace with my dad.
7. Running with my mom - in Arizona, in California and in Washington, DC.
8. Brunch, happy hour or girls' night out - dancing, having fun and commiserating about work, guys and life.
9. A post-Cheesecake Factory kiss, waiting for the Metro.
10. The weekend my family spent together in New York this fall, mourning my grandmother's passing and celebrating her life.
    

What are you giving thanks for?

Rude, or first in line?

I don't think anyone raised to follow the golden rule ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you") would argue that common courtesy has taken some serious body blows in today's society, and sometimes seems to rank about as high on people's to-do lists as returning calls from telemarketers. But what do you do when you're actually not sure what common courtesy dictates you should do?

At the gym this evening (I know, I know, that whole winter runner thing...but it was dark and I haven't found a bright top yet and there are cyclists who yell at me if I'm not visible enough!), the elliptical crosstrainers were full when I got there, so I did some strength training first. Still no open ellipticals when I finished that, so I resigned myself to some time on a bike while I waited for one to open up. I saw one woman (let's call her Jane) start her cool-down, so I got off the bike and went to wait behind her machine as she got off to clean it.

As Jane was coming back, the woman on the machine next to her (we'll call her Sue) - another elliptical, but one without crosstraining capacity (nothing to work the arms) - stepped off and asked her, "Are you finished?" What? I was standing right there! I stepped forward as Jane responded that she was, thinking maybe I was outside Sue's peripheral vision. But no, Sue started to move her water bottle to Jane's recently vacated machine, so I stepped forward and said politely, "I'm sorry, but I was actually waiting for this machine. Were you waiting, too?" (Just for honesty's sake, I feel I should mention that my version of "polite" when I think someone may be wrong can become obnoxiously over-polite.)

Sue turned around and gave me that silent stare, humming with fury, that I usually reserve for people who cut me off and/or step on me on the Metro - for a full five seconds. Finally she said, "Well, so was I, but I guess you can have it," in a voice to match the stare. I set my water bottle (an anodyzed aluminum SIGG, from REI - no wasteful plastic or pesky BPAs here) in the machine's holder, but didn't climb on yet, saying, "Are you sure?" Sue didn't answer, or look at me.

So I'm stumped. Was Sue's claim on the coveted elliptical legitimate and her resultant fury righteous, or can I go back to the gym next time without having to hang my head in post-elliptical-usurping guilt and shame? I know one of us committed a common courtesy faux pas, but I'm not sure if it was me or her - what do you think?

Want to send a unique sweet treat? Try this!

I've long been of the opinion that my parents are awesome, but this clinches it: I just got a package marked "perishable" from The Chocolate Fetish.

I saw the return address and just barely repressed a "woo-hoo!" of bliss. My brother and sister-in-law sent my mom a box of their Ecstasy Truffles this summer, and I've been dying to try some ever since. The Asheville, NC-based company has been around since 1986, and owned and operated by Bill and Sue Foley for the last two years. Let me tell you, after tasting their "Velvet Sin" truffle (Billed as "The ultimate Chocolate experience...every dark Chocolate lover's dream come true!" Do my parents know me, or what?), I would love to meet them. And would probably spend the rest of my life in their shop, if they'd let me. I mean, really, who else is going to make sure all of their truffles, frogs, rounds and chocolate-covered espresso beans are up to par? Certainly none of their other fans/customers would do the job justice!

But really, if you want to make someone's day with a sweet treat that goes above and beyond the call on both deliciousness and inventiveness, look no further than The Chocolate Fetish. For the adventurous chocolate lover, try a box of assorted Ecstasy Truffles, which range from the afore-mentioned Velvet Sin (thanks Mom and Dad!) to Wine & Roses to Ancient Pleasures (dusted with cayenne pepper!) to Chai Moon. For the traditionalist, try an assortment of America's Best Truffles, which has a more usual selection, but keeps things interesting with some Raspberry, Irish Cream and Kahlua truffles tossed in.

I won't be spending this Thanksgiving with family, hence the spectacular care package, but that's okay - I and (what's left of) my box of Velvet Sin truffles could use some alone time!

Becoming a winter runner

Having grown up in Southern California and spent my first two Washington winters bundling into my warmest winter coat as soon as it dropped below 55 degrees, I've always been of the head-to-the-gym-if-it's-below-45-degrees persuasion and so have not amassed a large selection of outdoor fitness clothing suitable for winter weather. But, not wanting to lose the strength, stamina and endurance (and the option to eat whatever I want) that I built up in the seven months of training leading up to the marathon last month, I'm determined to give becoming a winter runner a shot this year.

So I decided to buy a pair of full-length running tights rather than relying on my standby "warm" tights, which stop at mid-calf and give me the excuse of cold and wind-burnt calves and ankles to head inside. After spending another 15 minutes grumbling about the price of running gear (this has been a common internal thread for me this year), I opted for the CW-X Performx Tight. They're pretty cool, they not only ward off cold and some wind, but are designed to stabilize your legs and improve your body's efficiency of movement.

I struggled into them this morning (they really are like tights, only thicker, slightly harder to maneuver and much less prone to ripping) and took them out for a spin in this morning's 38-degree sunshine.

The first half mile was normal, and I congratulated myself on finally having the sense to invest in winter-appropriate gear. At about three-quarters of a mile, I started to wonder why my shins were sore. At the first mile, I was gritting my teeth, struggling to pick my feet up and keep up my pace and wondering what was wrong with my tights - or my legs.

Well, I thought, I haven't been outside of the gym in about a week and a half, so it could just be that my legs have gotten spoiled by all that time on the low-impact elliptical, right? Sure, why not? I kept going, and noted that I was actually right on pace as I jogged down from the road to the Mt. Vernon Trail. Okay, not so bad.

I distracted myself with thoughts of who I was going to ask if this was normal for new winter tights, and tuned back in at about 2.5 miles to note that the soreness was fading. At 4.5 miles, I heard someone behind me and forgot about the tights as my competitive streak took over and I kicked up my pace to stay ahead of them. That usually only works for about a half mile, tops, since I'm definitely not a speed demon, but this time I had a hill working in my favor (I'm pretty good at keeping pace on hills, which many runners aren't), so I managed to stay ahead of my "opponent" and keep myself distracted until I left the trail to climb back up to the road.

I finished my 7-mile route in a decent enough time, stretched out and decided that maybe tights, like shoes, just need to be broken in, since by then they felt snug, but pretty good. My knees felt very supported without feeling constrained, and my quads didn't feel like they were working quite so hard as usual. Of course, now I'm loathe to wash the tights for fear that they'll shrink...but that's another problem entirely.

Any winter gear suggestions (for any outdoor activity), questions or comments? What should I be wearing to keep up this winter running? I'm still looking for a warm (brightly colored, since I usually run in the morning before work, when it's not always light) upper body solution to swap out for my layers of long sleeves and sweatshirts - any ideas?

Millennial Me

I didn’t actually know I was a “millennial” until I got to college orientation. The George Washington University – henceforth to be known as GW – my chosen alma mater, was highly recommending a book called Millennials Go to College for parents of incoming freshman, namely because A) it would drive up summer sales at the University bookstore, B) it would tell all of these crazy helicopter parents what they were letting the school in for by passing off their over-parented teenagers and C) it would give these parents something to do other than hover while their children selected their classes and tried to make friends.

Demographers are still working on a solid definition of the Millennial generation, including when exactly it starts and ends, but I’m well within the debated boundaries of its early years, making me part of the “first wave” of adult millennials trying to figure out what to make of their lives. Some generalizations about my generation include that we’re over-everythinged: over-parented, over-educated, over-exposed to (and overly-dependent on) technology and over-involved, to name a few.

That’s not to say these are all bad things. Being over-parented tends to keep our family ties more intact than previous generations. Being over-educated seems to have given us the idea that we don’t have to launch a career right away and a few “just jobs” – and maybe another degree or two – before then is fine. And being over-involved seems to also mean that twice as many of us care about doing good for others than in recent generations. There’s not a whole lot that’s positive about being over-exposed to and overly-dependent on technology other than that we’re useful at the office, great at keeping in touch (as long as it’s not face-to-face) and brilliant multi-taskers (i.e. permanently distracted), but oh well.

That brings me to my next point: where the title of this blog, “There Is No Spoon,” came from. I wanted something easily recognizable to most people aged 15 to 65, but something that clearly “belongs” to my generation in that it has the strongest socio-cultural connection to us. I played with ideas around iPods (too techie), Facebook (too impersonal), TV shows from ‘Full House’ (too wholesome) to ‘Gilmore Girls’ (too girly)…and finally hit on this. The Matrix could easily be considered too sci-fi or too geeky, but the truth is it’s one of those really strong cultural links I’m so fond of – just about any American you talk to who was alive and over the age of 10 when the movie came out in 1999 has seen it. Just about anyone who’s seen it remembers two things most clearly: Keanu Reeves’ tripped-out-sounding “Whoa!” and the quote “There is no spoon.”

And I like the potential of that statement, “There is no spoon.” There is no pre-determined reality, no ready-made, frozen dinner version of life; it’s what you make of it, yourself. I wrote a poem about that for a Latin convention in high school, on being “the architect of your own fate.” It was a pretty awful poem, but I still like the idea. Which isn’t to say that I don’t believe destiny or fate doesn’t also play a role, but that’s a subject for another time.

The point today was to tell you why I named this blog what I did, and how I fit into that name.

So there it is, I’m a millennial. And I’m working on being a grown-up. Help me out with that, won’t you?

A quick overview

To kick off this exchange, I could tell you all about my degree or what I studied or what I do, but that wouldn’t really tell you who I am, so I’ll give you some random clips of myself instead and see if we can’t get started on getting to know each other.

1. Reading is one of my greatest pleasures. If I’m not in the middle of three different books at any given time, there must be something wrong. (And right at the moment, it’s George Eliot’s Middlemarch, Salman Rushdie’s Midnight's Children and The Audacity of Hope by President-elect Obama.)
2. I’ve been writing in some form or another since I was five years old.
3. I’m a stickler for details, and get really annoyed when I miss one. Which usually happens when I’m in a rush. Which is a lot of the time.
4. I speak French, and teach it as a volunteer for the Global Language Network.
5. Music is another of my greatest pleasures, and one of my escapes – I’ve been singing since I could talk, playing piano since I was seven, playing clarinet since I was nine and frustrating myself with the guitar since I was 14.
6. I love to travel. Meeting new people and finding the cultural similarities and differences that link us fascinates me. I’ll talk endlessly about them, so if I mention going somewhere new, be prepared!
7. I could happily subsist on cheese, milk, bread, chocolate (preferably dark) and red wine (preferably Côtes-du-Rhône or cabernet sauvignon).
8. I ran my first marathon four weeks ago.
9. I’m not a vegetarian, but I’m extremely squeamish about uncooked poultry, so I get most of my protein from dairy products and “veggie meat” unless someone else is cooking or I’m having a particularly brave moment.
10. I tend to over-think everything, which means I tend to be long-winded. I’ll try to control the long-windedness if you’ll try to forgive me my lapses.
    

That’s me. What about you?

Welcome!

Hi, and welcome! This is the first blog post I’ve ever written that isn’t for work and my first personal blog, so I’m a little nervous, but I’m glad you’re here.

Let me introduce myself: My name is Jessalyn (pronounced just like it’s spelled), I’m 23 years old, graduated college a year and a half ago and am now living in a little studio apartment about five miles outside of Washington, D.C. where I work at a non-profit that deals with First Amendment freedoms.

I’d like this blog to be all about personal connections, and thought-swapping. Who we are is rooted in our personal experiences, and in sharing them I hope we can learn something about ourselves and our world (and I don’t mean that to be as hippy-ish as it sounds). If my experiences can give you insights into yourself, your friends, your kids or family, and your comments can do the same for me, this blog will be serving its purpose. And of course, we’ll talk about the latest news, books, gadgets, movies and gossip! What are friends for, after all?

So come back soon, come back often, bring friends and leave comments – I’m here, I’m listening and I’m ready to talk, so let’s get started!